I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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