Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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