So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
