Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
