Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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