im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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