i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
