Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't deserve a penis
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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