Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize