if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
