Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize