Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
