He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
