Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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