So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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