i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
