i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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