I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
