Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
