Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
