I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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