omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
