I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize