haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
