I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
