oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize