Someone shit on the floor
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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