3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
