Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We talked him into tasing himself.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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