I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
