I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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