found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When are your genitals available?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
