How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize