glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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