Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
