I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
