Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
