all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I cut my penus on the lid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Randomize
