Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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