her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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