Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
