this boner is exhausting
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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