i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
