we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize