Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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