Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize