The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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