Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
