Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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