if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
