Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You made out with two different species that night
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
