Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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