What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
