There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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