It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
