I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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