I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
