Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize