Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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