His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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