oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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