you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
