My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
